He is Compassionate

It's been two months today since my sister and her family left this earth. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her, when I don't see something my kids are doing and am saddened because I will never get to see my nephews do it also, when I don't start a text message to her to tell her something and realize that she won't get it, when I don't see something that reminds me of her. These last two months have been among the slowest of my life. But I can't say that I'm not stronger.

The last picture we took together, the last time I saw her during our visit to DC last February.

Many people in my situation are inclined to ask God, "Why? Why them? Why this way?" They may even blame God for allowing the situation to happen. I will not say that I didn't ask Him why. However, I do not blame Him. I thank Him.

I believe that He has given us all free will. Free will to choose to love Him or choose to not to love Him. If He had not given us this freedom and just made us love Him, then what joy is there for Him when we worship Him? It wouldn't even be true love and worship if we were forced or made to do it. 

With our free will comes the ability to make our own decisions and allows us to be tempted by some not so great things. No one is perfect and we all have our weaknesses. I think the driver who ran into my sister and her family struggled with greed. I think greed allowed him to drive longer than he should have so that he could get to his destination faster, finish his job sooner, and make more money or have more time off or whatever he wanted and felt he needed. I don't think God made him do this. He chose to do this. 

The 4 kiddos hanging out in DC. All the hats were made by my sister. :)

I believe that God was compassionate. I think about what would have happened to them had they made it out of the accident alive. They were sitting at a stop in traffic backed up due to another accident. They were in separate cars and my brother-in-law was hit from behind by a big rig going above the speed limit. The truck did not even slow down. He was then propelled into the back of my sister's car with my two young nephews. Her car was then propelled underneath the big rig that was in front of her. Then there was an explosion and a fire that took hours to put out. Imagine the injuries that they would have had to recover from. Imagine the burns. Imagine the trauma both physically and psychologically had they survived. The years it would have taken to fully recover and the scars they would have had to endure... again, both physically and psychologically.  I believe that God was compassionate in allowing them to die rather than endure all of that. The cause of death for all of them was blunt force trauma and happened within seconds. That means they felt little to no pain. They did not suffer during the fire. They did not struggle. The accident happened early in the morning, and the boys were still asleep. I can confidently say this because my sister chose to leave early on their trek across the country so that the boys would sleep for the first few hours on the road each day. Also, they all went together. No one was left without a mom, or a dad, or a brother, or a son. They all went together.

Those of us that are left behind are feeling a pain that no one should have to feel. I don't wish this on my worst enemy. However, our pain doesn't even compare to the pain that they would have suffered had they survived. My pain is invisible to people that don't know me. They would have had to wear those scars for a lifetime, and everyone they would have encountered would have known that something terrible had happened. They would have had to relive that day over and over again each time they looked in a mirror or were asked about their scars. Instead, we can go on. We can live with the memories that we have. We can remember the good times. We can know that they are with their Creator with no scars, no pain, and lots of love and happiness. They are worshipping God fully and in the way that He created us all to do. 

I believe that God was compassionate.


Until next time!

~Monica