Friday, November 9, 2012

He is Compassionate

It's been two months today since my sister and her family left this earth. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her, when I don't see something my kids are doing and am saddened because I will never get to see my nephews do it also, when I don't start a text message to her to tell her something and realize that she won't get it, when I don't see something that reminds me of her. These last two months have been among the slowest of my life. But I can't say that I'm not stronger.


The last picture we took together, the last time I saw her during our visit to DC last February.

Many people in my situation are inclined to ask God, "Why? Why them? Why this way?" They may even blame God for allowing the situation to happen. I will not say that I didn't ask Him why. However, I do not blame Him. I thank Him.

I believe that He has given us all free will. Free will to choose to love Him or choose to not to love Him. If He had not given us this freedom and just made us love Him, then what joy is there for Him when we worship Him? It wouldn't even be true love and worship if we were forced or made to do it. 

With our free will comes the ability to make our own decisions and allows us to be tempted by some not so great things. No one is perfect and we all have our weaknesses. I think the driver who ran into my sister and her family struggled with greed. I think greed allowed him to drive longer than he should have so that he could get to his destination faster, finish his job sooner, and make more money or have more time off or whatever he wanted and felt he needed. I don't think God made him do this. He chose to do this. 


The 4 kiddos hanging out in DC. All the hats were made by my sister. :)

I believe that God was compassionate. I think about what would have happened to them had they made it out of the accident alive. They were sitting at a stop in traffic backed up due to another accident. They were in separate cars and my brother-in-law was hit from behind by a big rig going above the speed limit. The truck did not even slow down. He was then propelled into the back of my sister's car with my two young nephews. Her car was then propelled underneath the big rig that was in front of her. Then there was an explosion and a fire that took hours to put out. Imagine the injuries that they would have had to recover from. Imagine the burns. Imagine the trauma both physically and psychologically had they survived. The years it would have taken to fully recover and the scars they would have had to endure... again, both physically and psychologically.  I believe that God was compassionate in allowing them to die rather than endure all of that. The cause of death for all of them was blunt force trauma and happened within seconds. That means they felt little to no pain. They did not suffer during the fire. They did not struggle. The accident happened early in the morning, and the boys were still asleep. I can confidently say this because my sister chose to leave early on their trek across the country so that the boys would sleep for the first few hours on the road each day. Also, they all went together. No one was left without a mom, or a dad, or a brother, or a son. They all went together.

Those of us that are left behind are feeling a pain that no one should have to feel. I don't wish this on my worst enemy. However, our pain doesn't even compare to the pain that they would have suffered had they survived. My pain is invisible to people that don't know me. They would have had to wear those scars for a lifetime, and everyone they would have encountered would have known that something terrible had happened. They would have had to relive that day over and over again each time they looked in a mirror or were asked about their scars. Instead, we can go on. We can live with the memories that we have. We can remember the good times. We can know that they are with their Creator with no scars, no pain, and lots of love and happiness. They are worshipping God fully and in the way that He created us all to do. 

I believe that God was compassionate.


Until next time!

~Monica

43 comments:

  1. You're amazing. I am in awe of your spirit. You and your family are in my prayers every day. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. :) I am definitely at a peace about the whole thing. It doesn't bring them back... but for now, I am at peace. xo

      Delete
    2. I am so sorry for your loss (am following ur blog from the bloggy moms post. I had the chills reading this post, My heart goes out to you.

      Delete
  2. No words. But I admire you! I know they must be proud of they're amazing aunty , sister, sister in law :) Love , Yasmin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Yasmin! :) I'm proud of them and the legacy they left as well. :)

      Delete
  3. So, so sorry for your loss! You have such amazing strength & I am amazed by it.

    xoxo
    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is an absolutely amazing way to look at the situation you and your family have been through. When I first heard about this I cried....again reading this I am crying. You have an amazing strength and I commend you for sharing your thoughts as I'm sure it is still hard for you....God Bless you and your family especially as your parents travel to Nebraska :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so excited for my parents' trip to Nebraska! I pray that it will give them and the people of Nebraska some healing and closure. :) Thank you for the kind words!

      Delete
  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Your family's strength amazes me. I am sorry that Nebraska was a part of this tragedy. However, this is God's country and I feel the people of Nebraska have adopted them as our own. It is such a great thing for your parents to come to Nebraska. I wish them safe travels and comforting hearts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! The people of Nebraska are definitely a part of us as well! :)

      Delete
  6. I'm sobbing. Seriously, I'm about to use up all the tissues out of a new box lol. I shared this, I hope you don't mind. I think other people should read it as well. You are an inspiration to so Many. Love you guys! -Liz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Liz! I do not mind. :) See you soon! Love you too!

      Delete
  7. Well said my dear friend. We love youguys.
    Renee W.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are an amazing person Monica! Thank you for sharing this with us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mon- This shows amazing beauty and strength in your heart. I am so glad you have found peace in the situation and that God helped you to find the "best" way to look at the situation. This is very helpful for me in my grieving of their passing. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you are able to receive some comfort! I have been at peace for sometime and I wanted to share it with others. :)

      Delete
  10. Monica, that was so perfect!! so true, it hurts to miss them but it would have been nothing compare to the hurt of who ever survived the accident. While time moves slowly for us for them it is in the blink of an eye from when they arrived and when we arrive and see them again. Our pain is only located here on this earth for such a short period of time. Yes we will miss them, miss the milestones, miss those moments here on earth without them; once we are heaven bound those hurts, those painful memories are gone are wiped away and replaced with never ending joy and love, an eternity of joy and love is our future.

    ReplyDelete
  11. wow that was beautiful and so true..i love it. and i think about diana and chris and the boys everyday.my dad used to be a truck driver and i was always worried about him and i know he took the precautions to be a safe driver. i actually had been on the phone with him when cars have cut him off and heard him yell that room wasnt there for your car it was a safety barrier from the car in front of him. your family is in my prayers everyday. i cant blame anyone but the truck driver for the accident too and i hope other people realize that it was his greed too. thank you for this :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I have two family members that are truck drivers and they also mention the disrespect that other drivers have in not giving them the room they need! Trucks just don't have the stopping distance that smaller vehicles have! :)

      Delete
  12. This piece is beautiful. It reminded me of this quote: "Suffering is always there, around us and inside us, and we have to find ways that alleviate the suffering and transform it into well-being and peace." (Thich Nhat Hanh in Living Buddha, Living Christ)

    Peace be with you. - Colette

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am saddened by what has happened, but I can be at peace about the accident by looking it at the way you do. I am honored to say I knew them and that I know you and be able to see your strength through this time.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Monica, you are so encouraging to me! Your faith in God, wow! You have so much perspective and understanding. I am still so saddened by the whole situation and I think about you and your family constantly & continue to pray.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Nikki! Your thoughts and prayers mean a lot!

      Delete
  15. Your strength astounds me. You are beyond brave my friend, and your insight is enlightening. It is hard not to be angry, especially because as humans, we always need to know why, or have someone to blame. It's human nature to question what happens in life, and even more so when life doesn't work in our favor. You have found peace on your own terms and I commend you for that. Your faith and the support from your family will carry you through this, and with each day that passes that light at the end of the tunnel will grow brighter. We will never know why, nor will the acceptance of the finality of this situation ever be fully understood, but I too agree with you in that there is peace just knowing they did not suffer, they all went together, but more importantly, that you were able to a sister to a wonderful person and an Auntie to such beautiful babies, and a friend to a wonderful man. Sending you all my love. jess xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jess! It is definitely hard not to be angry. Thank you for the love and support! :)

      Delete
  16. Some how I came across your blog. This post touched by heart and I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You are amazingly strong. Turn to God for comfort.
    I believe that families are eternal, you will be with them all again one day. In the meantime continue to remember them and know that they are watching over you and that they are together as a family .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! You are right! I will get to be with them again! :) Until then, I will press on!

      Delete
  17. Thank you so much for opening up your heart. Your honesty is refreshing. We are honored to journey with you and your family through this messy life. Hugs, love, prayers, strength and blessings! Becky ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Becky!! Sorry I didn't get the time to see you guys while I was in town! Next time for sure! Love you guys! Thank you for all the support!

      Delete
  18. Reading this story brought tears to my eyes! I have thought so many of the same thoughts regarding their accident. And its true, those of us who have lost ones dear to us suffer in silence. It's almost been 13 years since I lost my best friend and I have always been thankful for the fact his life was taken in the blink of an eye without suffering....One minute we were singing "Hakuna Matata" and the next, a break in the chorus, he fell over in my lap,and he was gone. I relive that day every day of my life. Thank You for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome! I don't know if I'd have responded the same way had I been there. I don't know how you do it.

      Delete
  19. What a blessing it is to read your thoughts! Thank-you for sharing your heart Monica. I know God is guiding you. You and your family are always just a prayer away, so often in my thoughts. Love you all.





    ReplyDelete
  20. This brought tears to my eyes! Much love and prayers for you and your family

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can't imagine how you're able to write about this and so eloquently. So thoughtfully. You are a strong brave woman and I'm glad you have your faith to fall back on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Sandra. Your words mean a lot! :)

      Delete
  22. Monica,
    I came across this as a link on my daughter's facebook page and when I read it I have to say I realized that even though we have never met nor or likely to, you will always be someone for me to look up to. Your faith is AMAZING! I don't know if I could ever begin to do what you have done here. You will be in my prayers as I know that while you are rejoicing in the fact that they are together in heaven, it still hurts that they are not here on earth with you and the rest of your family.

    ReplyDelete