Snippets of Me

I have been walking (or crawling, rolling, and scooting) this earth for 32 years.  Sometimes, it doesn't feel that long... other times, I think, "How am I not 50 yet?!"

I am not saying that 50 is old... but it is older than I am, and sometimes I feel older than my relatively short time on this planet.

To commemorate my recent birthday... 32 things that define me (in no particular order):


1. I am the eldest of 4 children. My sister and I came first, and then my parents took a few years break and then my two brothers arrived. Basically, my parents hit the jackpot: have two girls that can then become little moms and help with two little boys. 

2. I am a Christ-follower. 

3. I am an over-achiever. There have been numerous occasions when a teacher or professor asked for our notes at the end of a semester and I had them typed up, laminated, and bound before turning them in. I couldn't help it. Now, I'm trying my best to help it. 

4. I am competitive. I was an athlete growing up, and while I don't compete in sports anymore, I find other ways... the Hubs said over Christmas that he doesn't "like" playing board games with my family... I guess we are ALL competitive. 

5. I have Neurocardiogenic Syncope (NCS). I try not to be burdened by my health condition, but its a pretty bad case and therefore, I find it dictating a lot of what I can and can't do and what I can and can't eat. I also find my condition humbling. It is very humble to wake up after passing out while walking through a restaurant. It is humbling to have to lay down on the floor in random places because if I don't I will pass out and fall to the floor instead. It is humbling to have to tell people that I can't fulfill commitments because I can't drive that day. 

6. I love Friends. <--- the Friends that is FINALLY on Netflix. The Friends that I watched nightly for many years. The Friends that got me through labor and delivery of my first child. While I do love my actual friends that talk to me... I also love my Friends that are on TV. 

7. I am a nerd. I love researching things. I love learning new things. I love reading. I love my smartphone not because of the apps and games but because I have endless researching capabilities at my fingertips and if a random question pops into my head, I can search for the answer and read up on any subject. As a friend puts it, I am a "gatherer of random information."

8. I am a Californian. I do not live there currently and do not foresee myself moving back permanently, but at the heart, I am a Californian. I spent 28 years there. Twenty-eight years in a state that has every type of geography and has so much to do. I used to not understand how people lived in other states. When I have lived 29 years in a different (but same) state, I may or may not change this qualification. I have quite a while to figure this out, though.

9. I am a stay-at-home mom. This is something that I never would have guessed for myself. I grew up wanting to attend Stanford. I wanted to be a teacher or a marine biologist for most of my childhood. But here I am, staying home and taking care of my family. This is my career at the moment. 

10. I am the mom to a strong-willed, very intelligent girl. Missy is 5 years old going on 17. She is beautiful and athletic and nurturing. She has the gift of encouragement. According to my parents, she is a carbon copy of myself. She thinks like me, she talks like me, she looks like me... its like I've found a way to clone myself and then give birth to that clone. She loves school and learning and reading. She is very creative. She loves to talk. She is super social and finds it hard not to be with other people. 

11. I am the mom to a stubborn, very energetic, and complicated boy. Bub is 4 years old. He has Celiac Disease and is very proud of this diagnosis. He was also recently diagnosed with high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. Neither of these things define him. Neither of these things change the person he is. And the Celiac diagnosis caused the bigger change in our lifestyle. He is very intelligent and is coping with both of these things extremely well and has a team of people surrounding him and helping him. Unlike his sister, he prefers to not be with a lot people. He likes to talk but only talks to those he trusts most. 

12. I have married a man whom I love and respect. He provides very well for his family. He has integrity. He loves and follows God. He is loyal (almost to a fault, but I'm not complaining). He loves kids and is an awesome father. I love that I get to go through life and do this parenting and family thing with him.

13. I am neurotic and a stress-ball. Does this need an explanation?  Ask my third grade teacher. 

14. I have a passion for organizing. Sometimes, I want to get a degree in organizing so that I can then get paid to organize for other people. 

15. On the topic of organizing, I love my label maker. And my post-its. And my sharpies. (Did you know there is a thing as a "sharpie pen"?? It doesn't bleed through paper. You're welcome.)

16. I love to cook. Growing up, I am pretty sure I drove my mom crazy in the kitchen. I wasn't satisfied with "throw x amount of flour in" or "first do this and then do that"... I wanted to know WHY.... why not more flour than that? What is the purpose of this ingredient when it doesn't taste good by itself? Now that I have my own kitchen and the means to research all my questions about the science behind the cooking, I am a happy camper. 

17. I've never been a fan of baking. Until Bub was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Now, it's beast I want to conquer! 

18. It is something that didn't define me until a few years ago, but I lost my best friend and sister (as well as her husband and kids) in a horrible traffic accident. Living life without the one person I don't remember life without has been the hardest thing ever. 

19. We are in the process of adopting our third child. All 4 of us are so excited to welcome this newest addition - whenever he or she comes. 

20. I am an extrovert. I am not necessarily the life of the party, but I need people around me to energize me. 

21. I have been blessed with friends that I have had for 20+ years and still communicate with almost daily, even though we are 3000 miles apart. These women have helped to shape me into the person that I am today. They have prayed with me. Gone through the death of my sister with me. Have encourage me and counseled me. We have grown together and I feel so lucky to have met them so young in life. On the flip side, I have been blessed with a few awesome friends since moving to Georgia and I hope to still call them friends 20+ years from now!

22. (10 more!!) I find blogging therapeutic. I love writing and engaging people on this platform. 

23. Much to the dismay of my husband, I collect books. I have paired down over the years (some are now in ebook format), but he probably would have preferred me to come into the marriage with a rock collection. It weighs less.

24. We have moved seven times since we got married 7.5 years ago. 

25. I am a cat person. I prefer them to dogs. Except Donner. She has been with me for 6 of those 7 moves and I love her. 

26. I. LOVE. COFFEE. I am a former barista that married a former coffee roaster. Coffee is a big part of our lives. 

27. I am regretting that I chose to write 32 things that define me as a 32 year old. (Does that count? I'm deciding that it does.)

28. I have recently learned to sew with a sewing machine. I find great satisfaction in completed projects but often feel like throwing my machine across the room. It is a weird mix of stress-relieving and stress-inducing. This is better than when I took up knitting or crocheting though; I will leave that crafting hobby to my mom and sister. It's for the sake of my family that I don't knit or crochet. 

29. I love my church. I have been active in many churches over the years doing everything from admin work, to nursery, to singing worship (and even a little guitar and bass playing), and church planting. The church we are at here, has tugged at my heart strings in a new way. I will be truly sad to have to leave it eventually. (To all of you that attend with me: I am not planning on leaving willingly, it is just the nature of the Hubs' career.)

30. I tend to root for the under-dog. I was a Sacramento Kings fan through the 90s if you need an example.

31. I come from a family that had regular family dinners and regular family game nights even after my sister and I were married. We are THAT family. Close knit. We have a group text thread currently. 

32. I like to think that I am dependable and loyal. I hate when and if I have to cancel on someone. 


There you have it! 32 things that define me.  That was a lot harder than I thought it would be! Special thanks to the handful of friends I texted for help for the last few items!! ;)

Who Told You That?

Sometimes as women, we have a habit of comparing ourselves to others, of taking on more than we can chew, of allowing others to shape our identity. 


Why?


Why do we allow Pinterest to laden us with guilt over what we are not doing? Why do we allow the lives of our friends shared on Facebook to give our inner voice a platform for self-doubt? 


Why do we compare the lives we live everyday to the lives that people edit and glamorize before sharing on social media? Those short posts and pictures are only a small snippet of what is truly going on their lives. We don't know what happens behind closed doors. We don't know the struggles and messes that occur for them. We only know the messes and struggles that we go through. One of my pastors once said that comparing our lives to people on Facebook is like comparing us at our worst to them at their best. It's just not fair to do that to ourselves! 


Why are we, as women, so hard on ourselves? Who is creating the standard that we feel that we can't measure up to?


“Comparison is the great thief of Joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt
 


I was listening to a podcast the other day on InspiredtoAction.com.  Kat Lee and her guest, Elisa Pullium, spoke about the comparisons we make. There are two different reasons and outcomes when we compare. Sometimes we do it to grow and be encouraged and to learn something from that person. We do it to become a better mom, wife, sister, daughter, or friend. But sometimes, we compare ourselves to others and it's negative. It leads to questioning our self worth. This type of comparison is not healthy.  It is not productive to who we are and the person that God created us to be.

Comparing our life or circumstance to another should be about having a teachable spirit rather than an achieving spirit. What is our motivation when we compare? Is it to say that we are better than that person? Or are we tearing ourselves down because we feel that they are better than us? "The only person we should compare ourselves to is who we were yesterday, last week, last year." 

Kat Lee at Inspired to Action

God has created us uniquely. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
 He has created us with a specific purpose and has placed us in our circumstances for a reason. 
We cannot see the entire picture, but he knows the beginning and the end. We need to trust the process. 


"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


He has designed you to be the mother of your children and you are perfect for them. He has designed you to be the wife of your husband and you are perfect for him.  He has designed you to be a daughter... both HIS daughter and the daughter of your earthly parents.

Does this mean we shouldn't grow in our walks with Christ? No.

Does this mean we constantly be striving to better ourselves? No.

But it does mean that HE sets our measure.

It means that we shouldn't change our whole being to be someone that we are not.

It means that we are NOT worthless in who we are because we don't measure up to this "ideal" that we have imagined but cannot possibly obtain.


I am not meant to be a calm, go-with-the-flow mom. As much as I try, I will always find myself writing out a schedule and labeling something. Trust me. I can always find something to label. It is who I am. It's not something I gleaned from reading organizing blogs and magazines or scouring Pinterest for homemaking tips. When I was in elementary school, I was given a rotary label gun. Complete with a rainbow assortment of labeling tape! I was in heaven! And I labeled EVERYTHING that I was allowed to label... well, and probably things that I shouldn't have labeled, and definitely things that do not really need labels (like labeling which bunk was mine). Each shelf on my bookshelf was labeled with the genre of the books that sat on it. All of my boxes and bins were adorned lovingly with the brightly colored embossed labels. Currently, if you were to look on and in my fridge, you would find a weekly schedule broken down into times. There is a slot for bedtime, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, gymnastics, therapy, puzzle time, game night, chores, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. You will also find a bedtime routine chart and a morning routine chart. And opening the door will reveal labels for each shelf and bin (that, for the sake of full disclosure, were probably put there during a "MOMENT" in which I was losing my mind and the stress had mounted just slightly too high). If my plans get messed up, I can self-combust in T-minus 2 seconds. 
Organizing and planning is who I am. Denying it, would be to deny part of myself. So try as I might to be an easy going, calm, go-with-the-flow mom, I'm not.

I'm like a duck, calm on the outside, but paddling like crazy underneath. I am high strung and neurotic. I've embraced it.

But do I let those moments of self-doubt creep in? You bet!!

Is it beneficial to me? Mostly, no.

Do I have room to grow? DEFINITELY, YES.

I know that this is not only who I am, but also a stronghold that needs to be broken in my life. And this is something that I am working on so that I can lead a more balanced life. But I need to learn... and I encourage you to do this also... to take those doubts and comparisons to God and discover whether that is in His perfect plan for you.


Discover His purpose for your life, not your purpose for your life. 


Discover who He has created you to be, not whom you and others think you should be.

Be a beautiful mess. 

Dear Mr. Slezak

Dear Mr. Slezak,

I've wanted to write this letter for some time now. I do not know why I haven't and I apologize that it has taken me so long to do. I am the sister of the woman you accidentally killed nearly 2 years ago. I want to emphasize that word. The sister of the woman you ACCIDENTALLY killed. I know that you did not set out on September 8th with any intent of killing my family. I don't know why you chose to drive beyond the hours that you were allowed, and it's not my place to assign intent. I don't know the struggles that you were going through, the pain you were feeling, the motive behind your choice to drive for so long - whether that was simply to get the trip over with or if it was another reason. What I do know is that all of us make mistakes. And there are always consequences to every action that we make whether it be a good consequence or a bad consequence.

I applaud you for pleading guilty. I believe that admitting guilt and taking ownership for your actions is commendable. You have accepted the consequences of those actions and I respect you for that.

I pray that your relationship with your son is not severed over the next decade or two. I pray that you are able to reunite with him one day because he does not deserve life without a father. I pray that you are able to go back to your home country one day so that you can see your family again.

I forgive you.

Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

God showed compassion on my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews. God has shown compassion on me. God has shown compassion on you. God has forgiven me for all the wrongs that I have done in my lifetime. I, in turn, forgive you.

Forgiveness can't erase the consequences that you will have to endure for your actions, but I hope that it can offer you some peace.

So, Mr. Slezak, I forgive you. I pray for you. I pray for your family.

Motherhood

During this time of year... well, often throughout the year... I reflect on the calling of Motherhood.  

Growing up, I often didn't realize what motherhood was really like and all that it entailed.  After all, raising kids isn't too hard, right? WRONG!! 

Motherhood is messy.  It's exhausting.  It is draining and thankless and never-ending.  Just as you think you have gotten it all figured out and life is smooth sailing, one of your children will vomit all over the rug, or one will punch another one in the face (this hasn't happened to me... yet... the punching, not the vomiting - that has happened... a little too often for my taste... and not just by the 2-legged children... but more often by the 4-legged ones... but I digress...). 

My point is, motherhood is hard.  There isn't one perfect way of doing it, if there was, motherhood (and fatherhood) would come with an instruction manual.  But it doesn't.  Every mother is different.  Every child is different.  Two women can have the same basic event happen to them, but you know what?  It's still not the exact same because each woman will have a different personality and a different outlook and therefore will EXPERIENCE it... differently.  

Our goal as mothers should be to raise upstanding citizens that care for others, that have passion and a drive for something, that can stand on their own two feet in life, and make something of themselves. Our goal shouldn't be to "outdo" the mother next to us.  It shouldn't be all about "keeping up with the Jones'"... sometimes what the Jones' have isn't what is best for your family.  Stay true to yourself and who you are.  

As mothers, we should be encouraging one another.  We should be supporting one another.  We should be uplifting and mentoring and just being there for each other!  Instead, I see passive aggressive Facebook and "Mommy Board" posts or not-so-passive-but-just-plain-ol'-aggressive posts tearing each other down and lifting ourselves up.  

So whether you are a mother of 1 or a mother of 20, a cottage dwelling mom or a mansion dwelling mom, an organic eating mom or a food allergy mom, a gifted student mom or a special needs mom, a stay-at-home mom or a work-outside-the-home mom... YOU ROCK!  

You do you, I'll do me, and lets just agree that we are all doing the best we can for our children and families.  And if we see one of us struggling, let's lend them a hand and maybe supply them with a coffee to make it through the tough times.  If we see a mom do something that we would "never let our children do" (like letting our son walk into a cement pillar face first and bounce off of it), remember that you don't know the full story (like the fact that I have told him countless times to watch where he is walking and that I decided that maybe the consequence of running into said cement pillar would be the best way for him to learn to walk with his head facing forward and his eyes open). We have all been there and I'm sure one of our kids is just waiting to throw us a curve ball just as we get a little comfortable.

Enjoy your children.  Sing songs from Frozen with them... belt it out!  Turn on a bubble machine and dance!

Happy Mother's Day!

Life as I Knew It

A year ago today, there was a knock at my door and policemen told me about an accident that had happened earlier that day claiming the lives of my sister, her husband, and three sons. From that moment on, my life as I knew it changed. If you haven't been with me long enough to have read my first post on what is now known as "The Accident", you can read that here.

Being only a year apart, I do not remember life without Diana. I’ve heard stories of when she was a baby and I was a… well, a baby myself.  I know I was excited to have a baby sister from day 1.  Even though she was my BABY sister, it never felt like she was younger than me.  It always felt more like we were twins.  We loved matching our clothes, putting on dance and theatrical and musical productions, playing Batman and Robin, and pretending that our own room was actually an apartment… our parents were other tenants and the van was actually a bus we caught to get around town.  We have one memory that is very fond.  We had guests staying at our house, and during the day, the air mattress was stored upright against our closet.  We had a bunk bed and had the amazing idea to lean the mattress at an angle against the bed with one of us standing underneath as support, and then we could take turns sliding down the mattress as a slide!  I’m guessing we were probably a little loud in our excitement because my dad came in as I was underneath and Diana was sitting on the top.  He asked what we were doing… and without hesitation, we both answered in unison, “We had to move the mattress to get into the closet.”  He stared at us for awhile… we stared back.  Then he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Oh ok!” as he walked out of the room.  We BURST into a fit of giggles.  As we grew older we continued to do a lot together and slowly our separate groups of friends became one group of friends.  When it came to competition and dividing into teams we always did our best to get on the same team because, as our friends can attest, it was almost an unfair advantage.  Sometimes we even split into teams: the B girls vs. everyone else.  

Chris was a part of our joint group of close friends.  He has been apart of my life for nearly half of it!  We started out as close friends: talking on the phone a few times and exchanging letters while he was in Korea, and then speaking on the phone weekly while he was in Iraq.  Though we did have a rough patch, I can say that we had forgiven and moved on and we were family at the end.  I am so glad that whatever it was we were at odds about was resolved before "The Accident"... I can't imagine having that anger towards him and not being able to talk to him and make amends.  He was my brother.  My favorite memories are watching him interact with Missy.  If she wanted him to take her potty, he took her.  If she wanted him to tie her shoes, he tied them.  I can still see them hand in hand, walking through the National Air and Space Museum.  She loved her Uncle Chris and he loved and doted on her too.  The last text conversation we had was right after they found out they were pregnant with Ethan.  I asked him how he was doing and if he was excited.  From the family provider’s perspective, he was nervous but knew it would all work itself out.  But he also said that he was excited for Diana because she was SO excited.  He loved her so much and just wanted her to be happy!  He soon became just as excited as she was to welcome a new son into their family.  

Diana and I were close in age and we loved it growing up, so we decided that we, too, would have children close in age.  Being that we reached child-bearing age at the same time, we were pregnant together, having babies together, and raising our families… together.

Sam was like Diana.  He was sweet and quiet and nurturing.  He even wanted to be an animal doctor “just like Mommy.”  The first time he saw Missy, he was so excited and loved her.  They were best friends.  When Missy saw something she knew he likes, like the iron man mask in Target or the life sized Power Ranger at Hollywood Studios, she would ask to take a picture and show Sam.  And he always did the same thing for her.  When she filled her pee-pee and poo-poo sticker charts, he sent her a video congratulating her.  Whenever they would FaceTime or Skype, they would spend much of the time just sitting with huge silly grins on their faces, just staring at each other.  

Connor was vivacious and goofy and loud.  The dynamic and noise level in their home definitely changed when Connor came along.  He and Bub were closer in age than Sam and Missy, and it seemed like their goal in life was to make the other cry first.  They never tried to hurt each other, but they sure knew how to push each other’s buttons.  Those two would have been trouble together as they got older, scheming against the rest of us.  I’m sad that Bub will never get the chance to be as close to Connor as Missy was with Sam.  

None of us got the immense pleasure of meeting Ethan in person.  All I know is that Squishy liked to bounce.  

Psalm 139:13-16 now sounds to me as if Ethan spoke it himself, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous and how well I know it.  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”  I can’t wait to meet him one day.  I also can’t wait to see Diana again.  We have this connection… our own language… we just get each other.  I will forever miss her.  A part of me went with her.

Legacy

Over the past year, the word "legacy" has been on my mind a lot.  Earlier this summer, I was at a farewell luncheon for a family that was moving on to a new state and job. We were guests at the church for VBS Sunday and although we had only just met the family, it was obvious that they were leaving behind an amazing legacy at the church as well as in the community in which we live. The couple had begun a preschool and the county's mom's club, as well as many programs within the church. They have a huge passion for family and community and it's contagious!

My sister has also left behind a huge legacy around the country with her kind, gentle-hearted spirit and her carseat advocacy. I am still meeting people online that knew of her and were touched by her.  One of her friends recently wrote an amazing blog post about child passenger safety.  If you have children or transport children, you should definitely check out this post.  Diana's friend, Bree, is very knowledgeable and communicated wonderfully the ins and outs and importance of following more than just the law (which is extremely outdated) but also the recommendations made by the people and organizations who know their stuff.  Diana's passion about safety of all children was contagious!  You couldn't listen to her talk about it and walk away and not wonder if you were doing everything in your power to make sure your children are as safe as they can be.  If there is one thing we can learn about "The Accident" it is that no matter how safe YOU are as a driver, you can't predict how OTHERS are going to drive, so we need to take any necessary precaution we can.

One thing that has come across my mind time and time again is 'What kind of legacy am I leaving?'  If I am taken from this world tomorrow, would people even notice?  If you were to leave this world, what kind of legacy would you leave behind?  Would you be remembered as a kind, caring, loving individual? Or would you be remembered as a selfish individual who couldn't be troubled to take the time to help someone else?  What are you doing for the greater good? What are you passionate about and are you sharing that passion? 

What kind of legacy are you creating? 

Until next time,

A New Year

We had a busy year in 2012!  

-We welcomed 3 new pets into our home (2 hermit crabs and a cat).  

-We visited my sister and her family and explored Washington DC.  

-We went to Disney World with a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old (we brought an extra adult so that we outnumbered the toddlers).  

-We helped family move from Atlanta to North Carolina and visited them a few times in both places.  

-We had that same family visit us on numerous occasions throughout the year.  

-Bub was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy and we learned just how many things contained dairy in some form.  

-We traveled from Georgia to California to visit family.  

-We had a small birthday tea turn into a party for 30 when Missy turned 3!  

-We mourned the passing of my sister and her family (and flew back to California for a month for the services and to take some time).  

-Missy got her ears pierced.  

-We went on our first family vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC.  

-We held Bub's birthday party just 2 days before Christmas.  

-We hosted both Christmas and New Years and had 10 family members come during a two week stretch of time (although not all 10 were here at the same time).  

And that list is just the big stuff!  

But... all things must come to an end, right?  2013 has begun.  358 days of uncharted territory to explore and make the most of!

We have a few goals this year:

-Slow down

-Simplify

-Be more "green"

Life can get so hectic for us, but one thing we have learned from this past year is that you never know what can happen and we need to really enjoy the moments we have.  In order to slow down, we are trying to simplify our lives.  This means less clutter, less stuff... just... less!  We don't need every gadget or every toy out there.  Less can be more, right?  We also want to become "greener."  When Missy was born, I began making my own all-purpose cleaner, but I want to expand that to laundry detergent and candles and other household products.  We also want to look at the way we live and see if little adjustments can be made to better use our resources.

All in all, we want to create a more healthy environment for our family, both emotionally and physically.

I mean, just look at these lovelies!!

  

How could you not want them to have the best life?  

I'm not saying that everyone should make the same changes in their own lives that we are making.  I think that what we are planning and dreaming for this year is what is best for OUR family.  Every family is different and has different goals... so what works for us may not work for you and vice versa.

I'm looking forward to sharing with you what the new year brings us!!


Until next time!

~Monica

He's 2!!

Just before Christmas, my baby boy turned 2 years old!  I can't believe it!  

Birth

1 year

2 years ("Chandler Smile")

2 years (real smile)

This past year has been full of ups and downs with him, but he is back on track developmentally and thriving!!  He was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy and is on a dairy-free diet, which can be frustrating, but the changes that we have seen in him make the effort worth it!

Bub doesn't like having a lot of attention placed on him.  Last year, he seemed to melt down before our eyes during gift opening time.  So we have small family affairs.  Even though his parties are small, I still want to decorate and have the party atmosphere for him to separate his birthday from Christmas.  His birthday is only 3 days before Christmas, so doing as my parents did and not decorating for the Holiday until after his birthday is not as feasible... so this is how I am giving him his day for now.  

I gave him six options for a birthday party theme and let him pick which one he wanted.  He chose Mickey Mouse!  I was so excited for this theme as I figured I could DIY most of it!

For the banner, I hung a yellow table cloth and hot glued a felt Mickey silhouette to it.  I used two different sized oatmeal containers to trace circles onto black felt and free-hand drew a "2" onto red felt.  Super easy.  Super simple.  

We wanted to keep as much as possible dairy-free when it came to the food options.  I wanted him to pretty much be able to eat anything that was offered.  It IS his party, after all!  :)  Going with the Mickey Mouse theme, we served hot dogs & mini corn dogs to allude to the "Hot Dog" song on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  To expand on that, we also had a chili bar.  There was cheese and sour cream on this bar, but that was all the dairy at the party.  :)  For dessert, we had marshmallow pops dipped in dairy-free chocolate that I found at Trader Joes (semi-sweet chocolate chips) and had my mom ship to me.  (Thanks Mom!!!)  I should note that if you are highly allergic to dairy, these "MAY CONTAIN DAIRY" because they are packaged in a plant that packages milk chocolate chips.  Bub is able to handle things that are produced in facilities that handle dairy, so this was not a concern for us.  

I also made mini-cupcakes using almond milk and vegan butter with cake mix.  To darken the frosting, I used Wilton black icing dye in classic chocolate frosting.  For ears, Mini Oreos.  

I kept to the yellow, red, and black scheme for the table and added balloons because Bub LOVES them.  And to make it easy, I hung licensed Mickey hanging decor found at Party City from the lamp over the dining table.  

Everything was super easy.  Frosting the cupcakes probably took the most time!  FYI, one box of cake mix makes a bit more than 50 mini cupcakes... I stopped at 50 and threw away the rest of the batter.  :)  There were WAY more than enough for 10 of us.  :)

Bub approved!!  He did much better this year than last!  He was still slightly overwhelmed with 9 sets of eyes being on him, but he didn't hide this year!  Progress!!!  Maybe next year he can have friends over!  

Happy birthday, Bub!!


Until next time!

~Monica

A Long Road

I missed Day 4 & 5 of the Advent Tree.  We did them, and I can give you the details in a few short sentences.  We had a movie night with chocolate milk and popcorn and the kiddos got another fun ornament to hang on their tree. :)  We watched the VeggieTale movie about Saint Nicholas.  I'm still unsure how we are going to handle the Santa thing in our home.  I know there is a lot of magic in believing for the kids, but I'm still not sure.  I do know that we want to focus the holiday on Jesus, but there is something to say about Saint Nicholas and what he did and why he did it.  I have a feeling that we need to decide sooner rather than later as Missy is 3 years old.  I asked her on Day 1 what Christmas was all about and she said, "It's when Baby Jesus comes and brings me presents." For now, we'll go with that. :)

For the sake of full disclosure, I feel that I must share with you how hard the past few days have been.  If you are just joining me, you can read my initial post about The Accident here.  The holidays are drawing closer and it is becoming harder to plan knowing that a big part of my life will not physically be here with us. This time last year, Diana and I were planning the activities and projects we wanted to do with the kids.  We crammed as much as we could into the 4 days they were with us.  I can't help but think about the fact that this Christmas was supposed to be at their house.  When we bought the kiddos their Christmas pajamas this year and I tried with all my might to find matching girl/boy fleece footed pajamas that were also masculine and feminine, I could only think of how cute it would have been to get all 4 of the kids together in fleece footed pajamas... and that maybe this year we could have finally gotten all four kids not only looking at the camera, but also smiling.  I can't help but think about Sam's 4th birthday and Bub's 2nd birthday could have been celebrated together this year.

In all of this, I feel a gaping hole.  I feel an emptiness that I have never felt before.  My partner in life (besides Hubs) is gone.  She isn't on vacation or busy... She is physically gone.  A new normal has not yet been found.  I keep hanging in there.  Getting through each day, taking it moment by moment and holding onto the memories that have been made and the memories being made, because those memories may be the last.

Life has new meaning.  I try to savor each moment and not take anything for granted.  I am reading Hope for the Weary Mom, by Brooke McGlothlin and Stacey Thacker, with two of my dear friends.  It's our own little book club via group text message!  :)  It's so much fun and the conversation has been so great.  The current chapter was definitely hard to read though.  It is all about dealing with and overcoming loss.  One point that I took from it is that I am not following God because of what he can do for me... I am following God because of what he has already done for me.  I need to keep my faith and trust in Him to get me through.  Brooke says near the end of the chapter, "But healing can't be forced.  It simply takes time.  And as with everything else in life, true healing comes as God leads us toward it, peeling back layer after layer of raw hurt, and breathing new life into our wounds."  I am definitely on the road to healing, and I know it is going to be a long road full of good days and bad.  


Until next time,

~Monica

Full of Personality!

We took our first family of four vacation!  We travel to California every year to visit family and we went to Disney World last spring with the Hubs' brother... but this vacation was a family-only vacation.  We didn't visit anyone in particular and no one joined us.  It was just the four of us. 

We decided to go to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  It was cold but nice at the same time.  We didn't spend much time at the beach... well, Budboy and I didn't go down to the sand at all... but Missy and the Hubs did! 

On the first day we went to Waccatee Zoo.  This quaint little zoo is a nature walk meets zoo.  The kids loved being up close with all the animals and even got to feed a bunch of them!  I personally loved that the peacocks were free roaming.  I love peacocks!  They are such beautiful creatures!

On the second day we went to Ripley's Aquarium.  Compared to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, it was tiny... but they had an impressive shark tunnel and was small enough where I wasn't a nervous wreck that my kids were going to get lost.  :)  Which is ALWAYS a plus!!  I, unfortunately, do not have many pictures since I failed to correctly charge my phone.  This would not be the first time I have screwed that up... I tend to do that on Day 2 every time we travel! One day, Day 2 will be captured! I promise!  I do have one family picture though.  If you are on my personal Facebook page, you have already seen it.  I love it.  When it was developed at the aquarium, the employee looked at it and said, "There is a lot of personality going on in that picture!" 

 Ha ha!  It is so true!  You can see the high energy that my children posses!  It took 3 attempts to get a picture with both of them still!  You can see just how drained the Hubs is after working 7 straight 12-hr overnight shifts immediately before the trip.  I just love this picture and will cherish it always! 

The trip was short but sweet.  Hectic but relaxing.  It was definitely nice to get away and spend some time reconnecting as a family.  

Two days after we were home, we drove up to Augusta for a birthday party.  Missy chose the boy she wants to marry and even asked permission.  I was able to reconnect with old friends, and the Hubs was able to take his new truck on a road trip! 

Once we got home, it was time to relax for a day before starting the Turkey Day prep!!  Its been one thing after another in our home, but now we are able to slow down, return to normal life, and begin celebrating the Christmas Season and what it really means.  :)  Stay tuned!!

Until next time,

~Monica