It has been 6 months since "The Accident."
Sometimes it seems as though it hasn't been that long. There is still an emptiness inside, but the pain is dulling. I catch myself often, not knowing whether to say "my sis has" or rather "my sis had." Sometimes I feel that it does a disservice to speak about them in the past because it feels as if they are still very much all around me. But at the same time, they aren't presently with us.
I have to remind myself everyday to just keep going. It would be so easy to just mourn the passing of my sister and her family everyday; to sit there and look at all the pictures that are out there; to reminisce on all the memories. But is that healthy? I don't know. I feel that I have an obligation and a responsibility to keep going. I am not forgetting about her or the memories I have. But I am not standing still either. God did not take me from this earth. I still have a purpose here, and I need to remember that and keep moving forward.
Forward. Moving forward is hard when one holds on to what is behind. But in order to grow and to be productive, movement is necessary. Moving forward can be scary when devastation has happened. But God calls us to be strong and courageous.
"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:7-9 NLT)
God spoke those words to Joshua right after He told him that Moses had died. Joshua did not see Moses die nor did he get to say his good-byes. He simply heard from God that his leader, his friend, his mentor had died. After a period of mourning, Joshua had to move forward. He had to lead people. He had to move so that God could use him.
I am trying to do the same without forgetting the legacy they left behind. I have to move forward so that I may leave behind my own legacy.
Are you creating a legacy?
Until next time!